tessa: You know, there're some nights that u wish u had someone with u
tessa: I hate when that happens
tessa: :P
Nikhil dochania: lol
Nikhil dochania: i know what u mean
Nikhil dochania: well thanks to TV and internet
tessa: No kidding lol
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Thursday, May 06, 2010
But you can't stop nothing
if you got no control
of the thoughts in your mind
that you kept and you know
you don't know nothing
but you don't need to know
the wisdom's in the trees
not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you don't let go
of the things that you find
and you lose, and you know
you keep on rolling
put the moment on hold
the frame's too bright
so put the blinds down low
if you got no control
of the thoughts in your mind
that you kept and you know
you don't know nothing
but you don't need to know
the wisdom's in the trees
not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you don't let go
of the things that you find
and you lose, and you know
you keep on rolling
put the moment on hold
the frame's too bright
so put the blinds down low
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 05, 2010
only in silence I've found peace
Life has always been, forever will be unexpected.
And only in silence today, being here, in silence alone with my rambling thoughts I've come to a state where I believe I've a better understanding, full acceptance and respect of who I am.
A passion for a better living, a passion for career, a passion for writing wishing one day I will leave a legacy of my words in a book.
A lot of hurtful moments, tragedies or happiness, reconciliations have happened; I laughed, I cried, I tried, I worked with tears and blood and yet I am here today. In silence, enjoying the moment feeling a bit of bitterness but almost complete as a whole. Because I know, there are times I need support but there are also times I will need to stand up for myself. Bitter sweet, lovely.
Am I lonely? Strangely, no.
Now I understand that even though my friends and family cannot always be there for me, I know that whenever they can they will be, to support me or just as simply as being there for me. My closest friends are not many, you can even count them with your fingers but I've been blessed to have them in my life.
Am I grateful? Very much so.
Only through hardships and pains I understand who I really am and my real friends are.
The worst things I can imagine have already happened, so there's nothing to fear really.
It has never been about winning or loosing for me nor about proving myself
for I will keep evolving but have been and forever lastingly am strong
Life has always been, forever will be unexpected.
And only in silence today, being here, in silence alone with my rambling thoughts I've come to a state where I believe I've a better understanding, full acceptance and respect of who I am.
A passion for a better living, a passion for career, a passion for writing wishing one day I will leave a legacy of my words in a book.
A lot of hurtful moments, tragedies or happiness, reconciliations have happened; I laughed, I cried, I tried, I worked with tears and blood and yet I am here today. In silence, enjoying the moment feeling a bit of bitterness but almost complete as a whole. Because I know, there are times I need support but there are also times I will need to stand up for myself. Bitter sweet, lovely.
Am I lonely? Strangely, no.
Now I understand that even though my friends and family cannot always be there for me, I know that whenever they can they will be, to support me or just as simply as being there for me. My closest friends are not many, you can even count them with your fingers but I've been blessed to have them in my life.
Am I grateful? Very much so.
Only through hardships and pains I understand who I really am and my real friends are.
The worst things I can imagine have already happened, so there's nothing to fear really.
It has never been about winning or loosing for me nor about proving myself
for I will keep evolving but have been and forever lastingly am strong
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 01, 2010
Para pembaca blog saya yang budiman,
Kehidupan manusia seperti yang kita jalani sehari-hari, terbagi menjadi dua: kehidupan sosial dan kehidupan pribadi. Kalau pembaca yang budiman dengan setia mengikuti blog saya, tentunya sudah bukan rahasia lagi, bahwa kehidupan saya ya... bukan rahasia lagi :)
Dengan hati terbuka dan jiwa besar saya hidup berdampingan dengan para fotografer yang bergantian setia menemani saya, baik dari jauh atau dekat, baik di dalam maupun di luar negri; selama setahun lebih ini.
Pertama-tama, tentunya lumayan menjengkelkan karena kok moto ga bilang-bilang, belum lagi kalau di pagi hari saya seperti orang baru bangun tidur, rambut berantakan dan muka masih muka bantal. Tapi tentunya jauh lebih baik berpose untuk foto saya sebanyak-banyaknya, daripada ancaman atas keselamatan saya benar-benar dilaksanakan. Oya, kalo nanti benar-benar terjadi yah, terimakasih teman-teman sudah setia selalu membaca blog saya ini, doakan saya dibebaskan dari dosa dan ikatan duniawi, hanya dengan doa teman-teman saya bisa masuk di surga dan saya pengin banget masuk surga, siapa juga yang mau masuk neraka.
Senang rasanya kalo ditengah segala keanehan yang terjadi, toh saya bisa menjadi berkah dan bermanfaat menjadi lapangan rejeki untuk para fotografer tersebut. Kira-kira berapa ya harga hasil satu jepretan foto saya, mungkin ga ya seharga fotonya foto paparazzi para selebritis, aihh senangnya! Saya sih berharap dengan harga setinggi itu, suatu hari nanti si fotografer bersedia berbagi komisi dengan saya, boleh juga tuh. Cuma ya kalo harganya cuma 5,000 per lembar mendingan panggil tukang foto keliling itu lho yang pakai sepeda kring-kring untuk dateng ke kantor saya tiap sore untuk sesi foto. Nanti saya pura-pura ga tau kok, tenang aja ;)
Teman-teman, sekali lagi saya ceritakan bahwa bukan rahasia juga kalo saya menyayangi dan perduli akan Peter dengan sepenuh hati, begitu juga hal nya terhadap mantan saya. Saya ini orangnya penuh dengan cinta kasih, perhatian dan menyayangi. Sungguh bukan membanggakan diri, coba deh dekat-dekat sama saya, masa ga bisa liat sih ketulusan saya. Seiring usia saya juga menyadari bahwa bukan berarti menyayangi atau perduli akan seseorang kita harus selalu memiliki dan berada di dekat orang tersebut, kalau kata pepatah, jauh di mata dekat di hati, Peter itu sudah seperti keluarga saya sendiri. Saya tidak akan lupa jasanya menemani dan merawat selama saya dekat dengannya, juga untuk menjadikan saya sebagai apa adanya hari ini.
Dan saya ceritakan sekali lagi, kalo saya memaafkan Peter dan siapa pun yang merasa bersalah dengan apa yang terjadi. Sudah setahun lamanya, bisa kan kita sama-sama saling melanjutkan hidup masing-masing. Waktu itu, walaupun bisa jadi linear tapi dia berjalan lurus maju terus bukan ke belakang.
Hidup itu adalah pilihan, seperti kata kampanye, maka merupakan hal yang manusiawi dan alamiah kalau saya memilih menyayangi Peter walaupun sudah jelas banget kalau Peter, selain bodoh, sama sekali tidak lagi menginginkan bersama saya. Sama juga dengan pilihan yang diambil pihak-pihak lain untuk terus merasa bersalah dan dihantui. Sementara kita bergumul dengan pilihan kita masing-masing, pilihan Peter juga sudah sangat jelas karena dia tidak bersama saya lagi.
Berhentilah berspekulasi dan ingat, waktu itu sangat berharga, lebih berharga dari uang. Bayangan suatu hari nanti Peter akan kembali dengan saya itu benar-benar kegilaan sesaat dan ketakutan yang tidak beralasan. Mungkin perlu ditulis besar-besar dan dipajang di atas ranjang supaya bisa dibaca setiap mau tidur dan bangun pagi kalau tidak ada teman yang bisa mengingatkan.
Namun bisa saya pahami, siapa pun bisa jadi tergila-gila kalau tidak sedikit gila saat dekat-dekat Peter. Maklum sang ilusionis, cuma ingat saja, dia juga cuma manusia biasa. Pokoknya ingat deh, kita semua itu masih manusia yang punya akal budi pekerti kalau kata buku PPKN, hargai orang lain seperti layaknya kita ingin dihargai.
Mungkin kata-kata saya ini tidak lebih dari masuk mata kiri keluar mata kanan, setidaknya ini yang bisa saya lakukan karena tidak mampu membayar tukang pukul :)
Tidak ada yang lebih menyakitkan dari mendengar dari Peter sendiri kalau saya harus berhenti menghubungi dia atau keselamatan saya, keluarga saya dan karir saya akan terancam. Permainan beberapa orang sungguh di luar dunia saya, siapakah saya, bahkan untuk melawan ketika nyawa saya terancam saja tidak bisa. Wong hidup saja pas-pasan, apalagi membayar pembunuh bayaran, malahan lebih besar kemungkinan saya meninggal duluan karena kecelakaan tertabrak mobil saat naik angkot sebelum saya mampu membayar tukang pukul untuk membalas ancaman tersebut. Benar-benar lucu. Semoga dengan hal tersebut banyak pihak sudah merasa lebih terlegakan dan terbebaskan.
Tentu saja keselamatan saya, keluarga saya, karir saya jauh lebih penting dibandingkan Peter. Peter tidak lebih dari sekedar seorang laki-laki yang membuat keputusan yang bodoh. Semoga dia bisa belajar lebih dewasa lagi.
Buat saya cinta itu bisa jadi buta dan gila tapi tidak bodoh.
Saya sudah menentukan pilihan bahwa yang saya perlukan adalah pasangan yang bisa menerima saya apa adanya karena saya memang berharga dan layak dihargai dan dicintai seperti itu.
Roda dunia itu berputar dan saya salah satu orang yang percaya akan karma. That you get what you give, what goes around, comes around. Dulu saya meninggalkan mantan saya demi Peter dan sekarang karma saya sudah kembali hingga saya bisa memulai lagi dari awal. Waktu kalian masih panjang, kalao tidak karena saya pasti juga karena pihak lainnya yang akan menjadi alasan Peter untuk meninggalkannya.
Kalo kita ingin melindungi orang yang kita sayangi dengan memastikan dia tidak akan terluka, itu namanya kita tidak benar-benar menyayanginya. Setiap orang berhak untuk merasakan sakit dan pahitnya hidup seperti halnya dia berhak untuk merasakan kebahagian dan kebebasan. Pahit dan kerasnya hidup, itu yang membuat kita menjadi manusia yang lebih kuat dari sebelumnya, yang membuat kita semakin layak untuk dicintai dan mencintai. Dan semoga di suatu hari nanti kita sudah layak diberikan kesempatan dan tanggung jawab terbesar untuk menjadi manusia yang membesarkan dan mendidik anak kita menjadi yang terbaik.
Walaupun pergumulan dan perjuangan yang dialami kita masing-masing berbeda. Walaupun saya bukan anak orang kaya dan memiliki penyakit, tapi kalo para pembaca budiman sering ke gereja dan rajin mendengarkan dan mengimani firman, Tuhan tidak akan memberikan cobaan yang di luar kemampuan kita :)
Amini itu karena Tuhan besar adanya. Lebih besar kuasa-Nya daripada uang ataupun kekuasaan yang ada di dunia ini. Ada hal-hal yang tidak bisa kita kendalikan ataupun kita pahami, terimalah keadaan itu, berdamailah.
Blog entry ini kalau dalam bahasa inggrisnya hanyalah bagian dari diri saya yang sedang 'venting' with no pun intended. Kalau ada pihak-pihak yang merasa disebut, kejadian dan cerita di atas memang bukan fiksi adanya tapi ya mbok ga perlu dibahas atau dibales toh entry saya ini, kecuali kita semua masih belum bisa melepaskan kenyataan yang terjadi. Kenyataannya adalah Peter sudah tidak dengan saya dan saya sudah tidak menghubungi dia lagi. Begitu aja kok repot :)
Begini kalau kata teman saya Chef Ario: "Saya belajar diam dari banyaknya bicara, saya belajar sabar dari sebuah kemarahan, saya belajar mengalah dari suatu keegoisan, saya belajar menangis dari kebahagiaan dan saya belajar tegar dari kehilangan. Orang yg paling bahagia, tidak selalu memiliki sesuatu yg terbaik, tetapi hanya berusaha menjadikan setiap apapun yg hadir dalam hidupnya sebagai yang terbaik."
Hebat ya, sudah pandai masak, pandai filosifi pula, pria idaman!
Kehidupan manusia seperti yang kita jalani sehari-hari, terbagi menjadi dua: kehidupan sosial dan kehidupan pribadi. Kalau pembaca yang budiman dengan setia mengikuti blog saya, tentunya sudah bukan rahasia lagi, bahwa kehidupan saya ya... bukan rahasia lagi :)
Dengan hati terbuka dan jiwa besar saya hidup berdampingan dengan para fotografer yang bergantian setia menemani saya, baik dari jauh atau dekat, baik di dalam maupun di luar negri; selama setahun lebih ini.
Pertama-tama, tentunya lumayan menjengkelkan karena kok moto ga bilang-bilang, belum lagi kalau di pagi hari saya seperti orang baru bangun tidur, rambut berantakan dan muka masih muka bantal. Tapi tentunya jauh lebih baik berpose untuk foto saya sebanyak-banyaknya, daripada ancaman atas keselamatan saya benar-benar dilaksanakan. Oya, kalo nanti benar-benar terjadi yah, terimakasih teman-teman sudah setia selalu membaca blog saya ini, doakan saya dibebaskan dari dosa dan ikatan duniawi, hanya dengan doa teman-teman saya bisa masuk di surga dan saya pengin banget masuk surga, siapa juga yang mau masuk neraka.
Senang rasanya kalo ditengah segala keanehan yang terjadi, toh saya bisa menjadi berkah dan bermanfaat menjadi lapangan rejeki untuk para fotografer tersebut. Kira-kira berapa ya harga hasil satu jepretan foto saya, mungkin ga ya seharga fotonya foto paparazzi para selebritis, aihh senangnya! Saya sih berharap dengan harga setinggi itu, suatu hari nanti si fotografer bersedia berbagi komisi dengan saya, boleh juga tuh. Cuma ya kalo harganya cuma 5,000 per lembar mendingan panggil tukang foto keliling itu lho yang pakai sepeda kring-kring untuk dateng ke kantor saya tiap sore untuk sesi foto. Nanti saya pura-pura ga tau kok, tenang aja ;)
Teman-teman, sekali lagi saya ceritakan bahwa bukan rahasia juga kalo saya menyayangi dan perduli akan Peter dengan sepenuh hati, begitu juga hal nya terhadap mantan saya. Saya ini orangnya penuh dengan cinta kasih, perhatian dan menyayangi. Sungguh bukan membanggakan diri, coba deh dekat-dekat sama saya, masa ga bisa liat sih ketulusan saya. Seiring usia saya juga menyadari bahwa bukan berarti menyayangi atau perduli akan seseorang kita harus selalu memiliki dan berada di dekat orang tersebut, kalau kata pepatah, jauh di mata dekat di hati, Peter itu sudah seperti keluarga saya sendiri. Saya tidak akan lupa jasanya menemani dan merawat selama saya dekat dengannya, juga untuk menjadikan saya sebagai apa adanya hari ini.
Dan saya ceritakan sekali lagi, kalo saya memaafkan Peter dan siapa pun yang merasa bersalah dengan apa yang terjadi. Sudah setahun lamanya, bisa kan kita sama-sama saling melanjutkan hidup masing-masing. Waktu itu, walaupun bisa jadi linear tapi dia berjalan lurus maju terus bukan ke belakang.
Hidup itu adalah pilihan, seperti kata kampanye, maka merupakan hal yang manusiawi dan alamiah kalau saya memilih menyayangi Peter walaupun sudah jelas banget kalau Peter, selain bodoh, sama sekali tidak lagi menginginkan bersama saya. Sama juga dengan pilihan yang diambil pihak-pihak lain untuk terus merasa bersalah dan dihantui. Sementara kita bergumul dengan pilihan kita masing-masing, pilihan Peter juga sudah sangat jelas karena dia tidak bersama saya lagi.
Berhentilah berspekulasi dan ingat, waktu itu sangat berharga, lebih berharga dari uang. Bayangan suatu hari nanti Peter akan kembali dengan saya itu benar-benar kegilaan sesaat dan ketakutan yang tidak beralasan. Mungkin perlu ditulis besar-besar dan dipajang di atas ranjang supaya bisa dibaca setiap mau tidur dan bangun pagi kalau tidak ada teman yang bisa mengingatkan.
Namun bisa saya pahami, siapa pun bisa jadi tergila-gila kalau tidak sedikit gila saat dekat-dekat Peter. Maklum sang ilusionis, cuma ingat saja, dia juga cuma manusia biasa. Pokoknya ingat deh, kita semua itu masih manusia yang punya akal budi pekerti kalau kata buku PPKN, hargai orang lain seperti layaknya kita ingin dihargai.
Mungkin kata-kata saya ini tidak lebih dari masuk mata kiri keluar mata kanan, setidaknya ini yang bisa saya lakukan karena tidak mampu membayar tukang pukul :)
Tidak ada yang lebih menyakitkan dari mendengar dari Peter sendiri kalau saya harus berhenti menghubungi dia atau keselamatan saya, keluarga saya dan karir saya akan terancam. Permainan beberapa orang sungguh di luar dunia saya, siapakah saya, bahkan untuk melawan ketika nyawa saya terancam saja tidak bisa. Wong hidup saja pas-pasan, apalagi membayar pembunuh bayaran, malahan lebih besar kemungkinan saya meninggal duluan karena kecelakaan tertabrak mobil saat naik angkot sebelum saya mampu membayar tukang pukul untuk membalas ancaman tersebut. Benar-benar lucu. Semoga dengan hal tersebut banyak pihak sudah merasa lebih terlegakan dan terbebaskan.
Tentu saja keselamatan saya, keluarga saya, karir saya jauh lebih penting dibandingkan Peter. Peter tidak lebih dari sekedar seorang laki-laki yang membuat keputusan yang bodoh. Semoga dia bisa belajar lebih dewasa lagi.
Buat saya cinta itu bisa jadi buta dan gila tapi tidak bodoh.
Saya sudah menentukan pilihan bahwa yang saya perlukan adalah pasangan yang bisa menerima saya apa adanya karena saya memang berharga dan layak dihargai dan dicintai seperti itu.
Roda dunia itu berputar dan saya salah satu orang yang percaya akan karma. That you get what you give, what goes around, comes around. Dulu saya meninggalkan mantan saya demi Peter dan sekarang karma saya sudah kembali hingga saya bisa memulai lagi dari awal. Waktu kalian masih panjang, kalao tidak karena saya pasti juga karena pihak lainnya yang akan menjadi alasan Peter untuk meninggalkannya.
Kalo kita ingin melindungi orang yang kita sayangi dengan memastikan dia tidak akan terluka, itu namanya kita tidak benar-benar menyayanginya. Setiap orang berhak untuk merasakan sakit dan pahitnya hidup seperti halnya dia berhak untuk merasakan kebahagian dan kebebasan. Pahit dan kerasnya hidup, itu yang membuat kita menjadi manusia yang lebih kuat dari sebelumnya, yang membuat kita semakin layak untuk dicintai dan mencintai. Dan semoga di suatu hari nanti kita sudah layak diberikan kesempatan dan tanggung jawab terbesar untuk menjadi manusia yang membesarkan dan mendidik anak kita menjadi yang terbaik.
Walaupun pergumulan dan perjuangan yang dialami kita masing-masing berbeda. Walaupun saya bukan anak orang kaya dan memiliki penyakit, tapi kalo para pembaca budiman sering ke gereja dan rajin mendengarkan dan mengimani firman, Tuhan tidak akan memberikan cobaan yang di luar kemampuan kita :)
Amini itu karena Tuhan besar adanya. Lebih besar kuasa-Nya daripada uang ataupun kekuasaan yang ada di dunia ini. Ada hal-hal yang tidak bisa kita kendalikan ataupun kita pahami, terimalah keadaan itu, berdamailah.
Blog entry ini kalau dalam bahasa inggrisnya hanyalah bagian dari diri saya yang sedang 'venting' with no pun intended. Kalau ada pihak-pihak yang merasa disebut, kejadian dan cerita di atas memang bukan fiksi adanya tapi ya mbok ga perlu dibahas atau dibales toh entry saya ini, kecuali kita semua masih belum bisa melepaskan kenyataan yang terjadi. Kenyataannya adalah Peter sudah tidak dengan saya dan saya sudah tidak menghubungi dia lagi. Begitu aja kok repot :)
Begini kalau kata teman saya Chef Ario: "Saya belajar diam dari banyaknya bicara, saya belajar sabar dari sebuah kemarahan, saya belajar mengalah dari suatu keegoisan, saya belajar menangis dari kebahagiaan dan saya belajar tegar dari kehilangan. Orang yg paling bahagia, tidak selalu memiliki sesuatu yg terbaik, tetapi hanya berusaha menjadikan setiap apapun yg hadir dalam hidupnya sebagai yang terbaik."
Hebat ya, sudah pandai masak, pandai filosifi pula, pria idaman!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Growing up is the time to make our most silly unforgettable mistakes, growing older is the time to take responsibility for all of our actions and decisions, becoming a grown up is when we start thinking for our parents and more responsibilities to come - tessa 2009
"with great power, comes great responsibility"
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
a bedtime story part 2
by JBR for TC
... the trader was introduced to the king
as the king oversaw all the town's business
one day the king was showing the trader the town
and the princess was in the center of it
picking up goods from the market
at a bargain price
tessa: lol
she was afterall Chinese
tessa: ahahaha
JBR: thought you'd like that
JBR: anyway
as the king and trader passed by, the princess caught the eye of the trader
and he was absolutely mesmerized
so much so
that he ignored the kings conversation
which the king noticed
and ordered the carriage to halt
which worked perfectly for the trader
the princess too noticed the halted carriage and looked toward it
both their eyes met
the princess and the trader
the king looked at the trader and finally got his attention
"What has you so distracted?" asked the king.
"I'm sorry your highness. I was immediately drawn to that lovely vision over there at the market."
"Oh I see." said the king. "Well she is promised to another and so you cannot have her"
no sooner did the king say those words than the trader lept out of the carriage
and jogged to the market
he approached the princess
and said, "my fair maiden, I could not help but to come over and at least talk to the most beautiful vision I had ever seen"
the princess, being shy of course
blushed and giggled a little
"I am so flattered" she said, "but I am also promised to another."
"I know," said the trader, "I don't care. I will not rest until I find a way to make you promised to me.
the princess swooned at this
as she was very much attracted to confidence
plus he was rather striking too
the princess
she asked coyly "How do you plan on winning me for yourself?"
to which the trader replied
I will meet you here at the same time everyday
if I see you here
I will know I am on my way to winning you
the princess laughed again
and said okay sure
the next day
the princess decided to let her curiosity (and hormones) aroused
the princess headed for the market
sure enough
she met the trader
who had a surprise
somehow he had found the princess's favorite flower
the white casablanca
she was so taken aback
she felt even more feelings for him
she thanked him for the gift by giving him a quick hug
and returned home
to be continued...
by JBR for TC
... the trader was introduced to the king
as the king oversaw all the town's business
one day the king was showing the trader the town
and the princess was in the center of it
picking up goods from the market
at a bargain price
tessa: lol
she was afterall Chinese
tessa: ahahaha
JBR: thought you'd like that
JBR: anyway
as the king and trader passed by, the princess caught the eye of the trader
and he was absolutely mesmerized
so much so
that he ignored the kings conversation
which the king noticed
and ordered the carriage to halt
which worked perfectly for the trader
the princess too noticed the halted carriage and looked toward it
both their eyes met
the princess and the trader
the king looked at the trader and finally got his attention
"What has you so distracted?" asked the king.
"I'm sorry your highness. I was immediately drawn to that lovely vision over there at the market."
"Oh I see." said the king. "Well she is promised to another and so you cannot have her"
no sooner did the king say those words than the trader lept out of the carriage
and jogged to the market
he approached the princess
and said, "my fair maiden, I could not help but to come over and at least talk to the most beautiful vision I had ever seen"
the princess, being shy of course
blushed and giggled a little
"I am so flattered" she said, "but I am also promised to another."
"I know," said the trader, "I don't care. I will not rest until I find a way to make you promised to me.
the princess swooned at this
as she was very much attracted to confidence
plus he was rather striking too
the princess
she asked coyly "How do you plan on winning me for yourself?"
to which the trader replied
I will meet you here at the same time everyday
if I see you here
I will know I am on my way to winning you
the princess laughed again
and said okay sure
the next day
the princess decided to let her curiosity (and hormones) aroused
the princess headed for the market
sure enough
she met the trader
who had a surprise
somehow he had found the princess's favorite flower
the white casablanca
she was so taken aback
she felt even more feelings for him
she thanked him for the gift by giving him a quick hug
and returned home
to be continued...
Monday, September 28, 2009
a bedtime story
by JBR for TC
once upon a time
not too long ago
in a country that was in the South Pacific
lived a beautiful princess
she had everything
cars
clothes
fine bedding
maids
butlers
everything she could ever wish
One day
an unfortunate event occurred
and the princess lost everything
except her mother
whom she loved dearly
they both moved to a smaller city and started over
the princess had to adjust
to a more modest life
but she made do
reluctantly at first
after time she got used to her new life
which meant getting a job
afterall
she was taught by the finest scholars througout the land
and work she did
in a company that sold books
soon
it was time to think about marriage
as tradition dictated
suitors lined up far and wide
as she was very beautiful
on caught her fancy
one
he was strapping
and handsome
and very well in shape
they courted for two months
and
although he never was really romantic
and didn't always treat her well
she loved him just the same
time came for him to propose
which he did
and the princess accepted
and she was soo happy
she told her mother
who arranged the whole thing
one day though
a foreigner had sailed into town
he too was a very strapping lad
but very exotic to the natives
he was well taught and could communicate well with these fine people
as he was a trader....
to be continued...
by JBR for TC
once upon a time
not too long ago
in a country that was in the South Pacific
lived a beautiful princess
she had everything
cars
clothes
fine bedding
maids
butlers
everything she could ever wish
One day
an unfortunate event occurred
and the princess lost everything
except her mother
whom she loved dearly
they both moved to a smaller city and started over
the princess had to adjust
to a more modest life
but she made do
reluctantly at first
after time she got used to her new life
which meant getting a job
afterall
she was taught by the finest scholars througout the land
and work she did
in a company that sold books
soon
it was time to think about marriage
as tradition dictated
suitors lined up far and wide
as she was very beautiful
on caught her fancy
one
he was strapping
and handsome
and very well in shape
they courted for two months
and
although he never was really romantic
and didn't always treat her well
she loved him just the same
time came for him to propose
which he did
and the princess accepted
and she was soo happy
she told her mother
who arranged the whole thing
one day though
a foreigner had sailed into town
he too was a very strapping lad
but very exotic to the natives
he was well taught and could communicate well with these fine people
as he was a trader....
to be continued...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
sense and sensuality
well... not to anyone's surprise, ms. t's apparently beginning to learn and know again how infatuation can get you a little out of this world, with a sense of withdrawal from anything else but... JR, everywhere and every time. will time difference, continents to come across, hormones, moms and as if march being not long enough get in the way of her keep thinking of K1, K1, K1...
well... not to anyone's surprise, ms. t's apparently beginning to learn and know again how infatuation can get you a little out of this world, with a sense of withdrawal from anything else but... JR, everywhere and every time. will time difference, continents to come across, hormones, moms and as if march being not long enough get in the way of her keep thinking of K1, K1, K1...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Monday, September 07, 2009
happy birthday to me!
11:16:45 PM thekingonline_king: a happy birthday.
11:16:59 PM tessa_id: thanks
11:17:07 PM thekingonline_king: make a wish
11:17:09 PM thekingonline_king: close ur eyes
11:17:13 PM thekingonline_king: think of god
11:17:18 PM thekingonline_king: he will give u
11:18:31 PM thekingonline_king: :D
11:18:41 PM tessa_id: thanks for the prayers :)
11:18:44 PM tessa_id: appreciate it
11:18:58 PM thekingonline_king: hey do it now
11:19:02 PM thekingonline_king: right now
11:19:11 PM tessa_id: i did
11:19:19 PM thekingonline_king: :)nice
11:19:25 PM thekingonline_king: dont tell anyone
11:19:27 PM thekingonline_king: let it work
11:19:53 PM tessa_id: hope it will
11:20:13 PM thekingonline_king: wanna tell u something
11:20:18 PM tessa_id: yes?
11:20:21 PM thekingonline_king: if i give u chillies
11:20:28 PM thekingonline_king: and i tell u they are hot
11:20:31 PM thekingonline_king: will u say
11:20:35 PM thekingonline_king: hope they are hot
11:20:54 PM tessa_id: hehe
11:21:01 PM tessa_id: of course they are hot
11:21:13 PM thekingonline_king: same with god
11:21:17 PM thekingonline_king: that u cant feel
11:21:20 PM thekingonline_king: this u can
11:21:24 PM thekingonline_king: everything works
11:21:31 PM thekingonline_king: provided u have patience
11:22:21 PM thekingonline_king: keep the faith
11:22:30 PM tessa_id: i am
11:22:42 PM tessa_id: thanks for reminding me
11:27:12 PM thekingonline_king: did u enjoy ur day
11:28:54 PM tessa_id: not really
11:29:05 PM tessa_id: my team mates is ignoring me
11:29:15 PM tessa_id: they dont even wish me happy birthday
11:29:34 PM tessa_id: although the whole office wishes me happy birthday
11:29:36 PM tessa_id: so sad
11:30:41 PM thekingonline_king: you must have learnt something
11:31:16 PM tessa_id: i dunno
11:31:55 PM tessa_id: what to learn from that
11:32:21 PM thekingonline_king: either ur too good or ur no good
11:32:25 PM thekingonline_king: and u know what ur
11:32:26 PM thekingonline_king: right
11:32:32 PM thekingonline_king: ;)so dont worry
11:33:07 PM tessa_id: sigh
11:33:25 PM tessa_id: i cant understand why
11:33:44 PM tessa_id: i dont have problem with the other colleague but my own departement
11:33:49 PM tessa_id: what went wrong....
11:34:46 PM thekingonline_king: thats envy
11:34:48 PM thekingonline_king: dont worry
11:34:55 PM thekingonline_king: its a natural reaction
11:35:10 PM tessa_id: i tried to talk
11:35:16 PM tessa_id: but they kept ignoring me
11:35:20 PM tessa_id: so i stop trying
11:35:23 PM tessa_id: enough already
11:35:27 PM tessa_id: theyre getting rude
11:36:38 PM thekingonline_king: dont worry
11:36:43 PM thekingonline_king: their days or numbered
11:39:39 PM thekingonline_king: ;)
11:40:26 PM tessa_id: well im just worrying that i still need them to work together on marketing program
11:40:33 PM tessa_id: i cant do it all by myself
11:40:43 PM thekingonline_king: you dont have to react
11:40:49 PM thekingonline_king: of what happened
11:40:55 PM thekingonline_king: take it as if its normal
11:42:04 PM tessa_id: okay
11:42:13 PM tessa_id: thats actually what im trying to do
11:42:21 PM tessa_id: feels kinda depressing tho
11:42:24 PM thekingonline_king: now u ignore that this never happened,
11:42:26 PM tessa_id: to be ignored like that
11:42:32 PM thekingonline_king: dont worry,
11:42:39 PM thekingonline_king: they are not ur bf or gf
11:42:40 PM thekingonline_king: ok
11:42:45 PM thekingonline_king: its business work
11:42:47 PM thekingonline_king: and money
11:42:51 PM thekingonline_king: take it professionally
11:42:56 PM thekingonline_king: dont get emotional
11:43:00 PM thekingonline_king: and dont expect
11:43:06 PM thekingonline_king: back to work babessssss
11:44:00 PM tessa_id: okay
11:44:04 PM tessa_id: ill try
11:44:12 PM tessa_id: thanks for the encouragement
11:44:22 PM tessa_id: i was discouraged by them
11:45:13 PM thekingonline_king: all days are not same
11:45:17 PM thekingonline_king: we cant be loved always
11:45:24 PM thekingonline_king: we cant be hated for ever
11:45:30 PM thekingonline_king: you know that too
11:46:51 PM thekingonline_king: bandung had earthquake could anyone prevent it
11:16:45 PM thekingonline_king: a happy birthday.
11:16:59 PM tessa_id: thanks
11:17:07 PM thekingonline_king: make a wish
11:17:09 PM thekingonline_king: close ur eyes
11:17:13 PM thekingonline_king: think of god
11:17:18 PM thekingonline_king: he will give u
11:18:31 PM thekingonline_king: :D
11:18:41 PM tessa_id: thanks for the prayers :)
11:18:44 PM tessa_id: appreciate it
11:18:58 PM thekingonline_king: hey do it now
11:19:02 PM thekingonline_king: right now
11:19:11 PM tessa_id: i did
11:19:19 PM thekingonline_king: :)nice
11:19:25 PM thekingonline_king: dont tell anyone
11:19:27 PM thekingonline_king: let it work
11:19:53 PM tessa_id: hope it will
11:20:13 PM thekingonline_king: wanna tell u something
11:20:18 PM tessa_id: yes?
11:20:21 PM thekingonline_king: if i give u chillies
11:20:28 PM thekingonline_king: and i tell u they are hot
11:20:31 PM thekingonline_king: will u say
11:20:35 PM thekingonline_king: hope they are hot
11:20:54 PM tessa_id: hehe
11:21:01 PM tessa_id: of course they are hot
11:21:13 PM thekingonline_king: same with god
11:21:17 PM thekingonline_king: that u cant feel
11:21:20 PM thekingonline_king: this u can
11:21:24 PM thekingonline_king: everything works
11:21:31 PM thekingonline_king: provided u have patience
11:22:21 PM thekingonline_king: keep the faith
11:22:30 PM tessa_id: i am
11:22:42 PM tessa_id: thanks for reminding me
11:27:12 PM thekingonline_king: did u enjoy ur day
11:28:54 PM tessa_id: not really
11:29:05 PM tessa_id: my team mates is ignoring me
11:29:15 PM tessa_id: they dont even wish me happy birthday
11:29:34 PM tessa_id: although the whole office wishes me happy birthday
11:29:36 PM tessa_id: so sad
11:30:41 PM thekingonline_king: you must have learnt something
11:31:16 PM tessa_id: i dunno
11:31:55 PM tessa_id: what to learn from that
11:32:21 PM thekingonline_king: either ur too good or ur no good
11:32:25 PM thekingonline_king: and u know what ur
11:32:26 PM thekingonline_king: right
11:32:32 PM thekingonline_king: ;)so dont worry
11:33:07 PM tessa_id: sigh
11:33:25 PM tessa_id: i cant understand why
11:33:44 PM tessa_id: i dont have problem with the other colleague but my own departement
11:33:49 PM tessa_id: what went wrong....
11:34:46 PM thekingonline_king: thats envy
11:34:48 PM thekingonline_king: dont worry
11:34:55 PM thekingonline_king: its a natural reaction
11:35:10 PM tessa_id: i tried to talk
11:35:16 PM tessa_id: but they kept ignoring me
11:35:20 PM tessa_id: so i stop trying
11:35:23 PM tessa_id: enough already
11:35:27 PM tessa_id: theyre getting rude
11:36:38 PM thekingonline_king: dont worry
11:36:43 PM thekingonline_king: their days or numbered
11:39:39 PM thekingonline_king: ;)
11:40:26 PM tessa_id: well im just worrying that i still need them to work together on marketing program
11:40:33 PM tessa_id: i cant do it all by myself
11:40:43 PM thekingonline_king: you dont have to react
11:40:49 PM thekingonline_king: of what happened
11:40:55 PM thekingonline_king: take it as if its normal
11:42:04 PM tessa_id: okay
11:42:13 PM tessa_id: thats actually what im trying to do
11:42:21 PM tessa_id: feels kinda depressing tho
11:42:24 PM thekingonline_king: now u ignore that this never happened,
11:42:26 PM tessa_id: to be ignored like that
11:42:32 PM thekingonline_king: dont worry,
11:42:39 PM thekingonline_king: they are not ur bf or gf
11:42:40 PM thekingonline_king: ok
11:42:45 PM thekingonline_king: its business work
11:42:47 PM thekingonline_king: and money
11:42:51 PM thekingonline_king: take it professionally
11:42:56 PM thekingonline_king: dont get emotional
11:43:00 PM thekingonline_king: and dont expect
11:43:06 PM thekingonline_king: back to work babessssss
11:44:00 PM tessa_id: okay
11:44:04 PM tessa_id: ill try
11:44:12 PM tessa_id: thanks for the encouragement
11:44:22 PM tessa_id: i was discouraged by them
11:45:13 PM thekingonline_king: all days are not same
11:45:17 PM thekingonline_king: we cant be loved always
11:45:24 PM thekingonline_king: we cant be hated for ever
11:45:30 PM thekingonline_king: you know that too
11:46:51 PM thekingonline_king: bandung had earthquake could anyone prevent it
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
When the pain you feel is a different kind of pain
Again, before I begin my next post, I'm gonna have to put this disclaimer that anything written below is purely intended to my personal healing only.
It has been a really, really crazy 8 months so far since I begun everything, from moving to a new job with a new position, moving to a new place, going through the breakup, while trying to fit myself in all of the madness.
Career wise
I could say that things are going great, oh well besides the fact that I need to sleep late almost every night, still continue to work even from home, have to work every other weekend (although I could get a day off replacement but it still feels not normal sometimes to have a different working hours with others, you know, while everybody is having a good weekend I have to work and when I got the day off, everybody else is working), have to put up with a very very fussy Singaporean boss, going home at 1 am in the morning after a meeting, even there were one time worked from 11 pm until 7 am in the morning and only reached home at 10am. Talking about being responsible and committed to your work, I may have done more than I should. I even done things that I wasn't even sure I could do, been pushed and - as my boss would say - stretched further than my own capacity. So after 6 months of contract reviewing, I had been made permanent employee despite the company policy of a one year contract and to hear the boss saying that she is actually happy with my work.
A dear friend has encouraged and told me, how proud of him of me that I'm learning young that it's all work and work hard, it's so worth it and that I'll see, I'll have everything I ever wanted.
Fitting in
On the other hand, I'm still having a lot of trouble fitting in with some colleagues. Now I know, that I have to learn a lot on this part, as as far as I know, I'm generally highly likeable and so it's kinda puzzling to me how some of the colleagues don't really like me, yet the boss is happy with my work. Upon the contract review I received a poor score in socializing and was reviewed and had actually been scolded to work on my teamwork ability.
Of course that has led me to frustration, I know I have some issues of dealing with people that I foresee as not being genuine, annoying and would only caused me trouble. However, a caring friend told me that if I continue working by myself and not involving or even connecting with my colleagues that in the end would kill my own career. Thus, it leads me to learn to smile a lot, trying to have some small conversations with everyone in the office, compliments here and there, trying to connect with the colleagues that don't really like me even if they are ignoring me, to keep reminding myself that as busy as I may be, I need to connect with people, to ignore my selfish and self absorb self accepting that I still need to be friendly with people despite of my personal judgement.
Can you believe, I would always be the last person in the office to know the gossips around, if I'm really focus, I don't even notice that everyone around is laughing at something really funny, yeah... like that...
Distractions
Besides spending my time working all the time, that would be having a lot of online friends, playing with facebook, watching 24, the apprentice, the amazing race, heroes in between free time but could never really finish them, spending a lot time with my bestfriend I. Sometimes I could have time to meet with Princess Lisia, Cicek, H Girl, and Mum.
Upon being independent
I have been also having a really hard 8 months where I needed to face my own demons - by myself - of not being able to socialize well with the people I don't really like and of course to be more independent as in not being spoiled and childish enough - being clingy, and to not be able to take decisions, yes, my indecisiveness!
As to resolve, I'm learning now that I shouldn't just keep asking questions but to actually say my ideas first before the questions. Still finds it funny but seems like that's the right thing to do.
I'm very thankful and feel blessed with everyone who have been there for me and pray that God will keep them safe and happy all the time. Everyone who have listened and put up with me.
I'm thankful of the dad to be AJ, you have been really patient with me and very helpful. Thanks Rainbow, for always asking how I'm doing while I sometimes don't really have the time to talk much and ask how you're doing. Thanks Ms. Disney who keeps me of working all time with yogurt and movies after work. Thanks RK for taking my late late nite call regarding my virus and love and life problems. I'm missing a dear gossiping and shopping friend who's now in Melbourne. Thank you Nikhu, Johnny, Robby, Ben, Jake and Quintin.
Guys, you are always dear in my heart and note how I feel really bad sometimes for not been able to reply to your messages.
Peterlogy
Pete oh Pete, is still in my heart dearly just like my other ex. Despite the fact that he never answered to my calls and that I'm beginning to accept that he has no feelings left for me, I also learned that I'd be fooling myself if I didn't say that I still adore him and missing our friendship badly.
It's so funny the way it is, how I also never picked up and rarely replied to my other ex's calls or texts, I guess that's pretty much how Pete feels.
A friend told me that there's actually nothing left to be talked about with your exes and how awkward it would be to still be friends with them. It's been 8 months and I'm still learning. Going pretty slow huh but as AJ would say, do whatever I need to do to survive. I'm glad that I have the freedom not to feel ashamed and fooling myself that I don't want Pete anymore.
RK told me that I should reconsider if I'm really sure that I want Pete, that should it ever happen it will only be hurting me more, that I will remember how he's hurt me more and more. Maybe... although it could also be a choice that I made, to accept things the way they are.
I know the Lord is good :)
Again, before I begin my next post, I'm gonna have to put this disclaimer that anything written below is purely intended to my personal healing only.
It has been a really, really crazy 8 months so far since I begun everything, from moving to a new job with a new position, moving to a new place, going through the breakup, while trying to fit myself in all of the madness.
Career wise
I could say that things are going great, oh well besides the fact that I need to sleep late almost every night, still continue to work even from home, have to work every other weekend (although I could get a day off replacement but it still feels not normal sometimes to have a different working hours with others, you know, while everybody is having a good weekend I have to work and when I got the day off, everybody else is working), have to put up with a very very fussy Singaporean boss, going home at 1 am in the morning after a meeting, even there were one time worked from 11 pm until 7 am in the morning and only reached home at 10am. Talking about being responsible and committed to your work, I may have done more than I should. I even done things that I wasn't even sure I could do, been pushed and - as my boss would say - stretched further than my own capacity. So after 6 months of contract reviewing, I had been made permanent employee despite the company policy of a one year contract and to hear the boss saying that she is actually happy with my work.
A dear friend has encouraged and told me, how proud of him of me that I'm learning young that it's all work and work hard, it's so worth it and that I'll see, I'll have everything I ever wanted.
Fitting in
On the other hand, I'm still having a lot of trouble fitting in with some colleagues. Now I know, that I have to learn a lot on this part, as as far as I know, I'm generally highly likeable and so it's kinda puzzling to me how some of the colleagues don't really like me, yet the boss is happy with my work. Upon the contract review I received a poor score in socializing and was reviewed and had actually been scolded to work on my teamwork ability.
Of course that has led me to frustration, I know I have some issues of dealing with people that I foresee as not being genuine, annoying and would only caused me trouble. However, a caring friend told me that if I continue working by myself and not involving or even connecting with my colleagues that in the end would kill my own career. Thus, it leads me to learn to smile a lot, trying to have some small conversations with everyone in the office, compliments here and there, trying to connect with the colleagues that don't really like me even if they are ignoring me, to keep reminding myself that as busy as I may be, I need to connect with people, to ignore my selfish and self absorb self accepting that I still need to be friendly with people despite of my personal judgement.
Can you believe, I would always be the last person in the office to know the gossips around, if I'm really focus, I don't even notice that everyone around is laughing at something really funny, yeah... like that...
Distractions
Besides spending my time working all the time, that would be having a lot of online friends, playing with facebook, watching 24, the apprentice, the amazing race, heroes in between free time but could never really finish them, spending a lot time with my bestfriend I. Sometimes I could have time to meet with Princess Lisia, Cicek, H Girl, and Mum.
Upon being independent
I have been also having a really hard 8 months where I needed to face my own demons - by myself - of not being able to socialize well with the people I don't really like and of course to be more independent as in not being spoiled and childish enough - being clingy, and to not be able to take decisions, yes, my indecisiveness!
As to resolve, I'm learning now that I shouldn't just keep asking questions but to actually say my ideas first before the questions. Still finds it funny but seems like that's the right thing to do.
I'm very thankful and feel blessed with everyone who have been there for me and pray that God will keep them safe and happy all the time. Everyone who have listened and put up with me.
I'm thankful of the dad to be AJ, you have been really patient with me and very helpful. Thanks Rainbow, for always asking how I'm doing while I sometimes don't really have the time to talk much and ask how you're doing. Thanks Ms. Disney who keeps me of working all time with yogurt and movies after work. Thanks RK for taking my late late nite call regarding my virus and love and life problems. I'm missing a dear gossiping and shopping friend who's now in Melbourne. Thank you Nikhu, Johnny, Robby, Ben, Jake and Quintin.
Guys, you are always dear in my heart and note how I feel really bad sometimes for not been able to reply to your messages.
Peterlogy
Pete oh Pete, is still in my heart dearly just like my other ex. Despite the fact that he never answered to my calls and that I'm beginning to accept that he has no feelings left for me, I also learned that I'd be fooling myself if I didn't say that I still adore him and missing our friendship badly.
It's so funny the way it is, how I also never picked up and rarely replied to my other ex's calls or texts, I guess that's pretty much how Pete feels.
A friend told me that there's actually nothing left to be talked about with your exes and how awkward it would be to still be friends with them. It's been 8 months and I'm still learning. Going pretty slow huh but as AJ would say, do whatever I need to do to survive. I'm glad that I have the freedom not to feel ashamed and fooling myself that I don't want Pete anymore.
RK told me that I should reconsider if I'm really sure that I want Pete, that should it ever happen it will only be hurting me more, that I will remember how he's hurt me more and more. Maybe... although it could also be a choice that I made, to accept things the way they are.
I know the Lord is good :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
